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CAT SCAN
tense
afraid
frail
tired
alone
cold
drink
the drink,
pure chalk, once, twice, three times
lie down-
in—out
breath longer
in------------------------out
it’s
over
I’m cold as the floor
get dressed quickly
shakily waiting
for the call
about
my
life
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TEARS
My tears
are not always out of sadness, you know, nor
do they come from only loneliness, or fear, or distress.
There are joyful tears and tears of blinding love.
My eyes fill up when others reach for their dream and
achieve it,
when a young couple unashamedly show love
for their children,
when a mother’s hand lingers in her boy’s hair.
How long ago was it I had my hand in my boy’s hair?
There are bittersweet tears.
When looking at hauntingly beautiful sunset I’m
Reminded that my sunsets are no longer limitless.
Knowing that great passion and heightened
moments of beginning love cannot last forever brings
tears to my eyes, even knowing that something
wonderful replaces them.
Looking at a young girl in a pale sleeveless dress
stings my eyes with tears.
How long ago was I in that dress?
Would I rather see the sunset and feel the passion and
endure the tears?
Oh yes.
WHAT I’D LOVE TO
HEAR
Please
don’t expect me to call you back
Or explain doctor by doctor
Or talk about how I found out
Or where we went
Or what they said
Or exactly how much time they gave me
Or if the kids were there
And how they took it
And how they felt
Tell me instead
You look healthy
Just checking on you
No need to call back
We’re praying for you
Hope you are feeling better
We’re bringing dinner
What else do you need?
We love you,
We’re lighting candles for you
We think of you often
You can do this
No stories about your aunt
Only love me
Only hope for me
Only pray for me
Thank you for caring and
I’ll get back to you as soon as I can
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